Whod you bang
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
