i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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