So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
