I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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