Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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