You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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