I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We had sex on a dog bed..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
