Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
