Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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