if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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