a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
