I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
