Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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