I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize