I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
