FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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