True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
