her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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