I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i dont even know how to be here
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
