their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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