At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize