OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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