I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
