i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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