you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
