But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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