Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
