I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
