did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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