So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
