so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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