Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
