Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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