Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
