Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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