I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
