real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
