He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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