You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
