i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
