I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
