I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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