i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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