why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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