After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I intend to get homeless drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
