I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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