She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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