my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
