So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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