I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize