So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
