so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
