Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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