Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
