You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
